


Down the chute, Up the ladder

by holtehyde



Series: Down The Chute, Up The Ladder: Extended [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Bad Decisions, Banter, I did too much research on dick piercings for this fic, Illumi’s a piercer and a tattoo artist, M/M, Mentions of blood and needles, Sex, Sexual Content, Sharing a Bath, Tattoo & piercing shop au, Tattoos, Tongue Piercings, Yes I Did Just Say That, dick piercings, pre-relationship/getting together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:42:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtehyde/pseuds/holtehyde
Summary: Hisoka walks into Illumi’s piercing shop one day with a ridiculous request. Illumi indulges him, but only a little bit.
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Series: Down The Chute, Up The Ladder: Extended [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107401
Comments: 17
Kudos: 225





	1. Chapter 1

Hisoka burst in the body mod shop’s doors and walked directly to the backroom that served as Illumi’s workspace. “Hey ‘Lumi” he smirked as he walked up to the piercer. “Gimme a jacob’s ladder today”

Illumi looked Hisoka dead in the eyes. “You want to get a full ladder, in one day?” He looked unamused and dumbfounded at how bad the idea was.

Hisoka confirmed with confidence. “Yes exactly”

“You’re stupid” Illumi said “Very stupid. You realize how much those piercings bleed right?”

Hisoka looked at him like he was speaking nonsense. “I know, it’s exciting isn’t it?” His eyes gleamed with excitement.

Illumi rolled his eyes, “You’re paying extra. This is a stupid idea. I’m charging you a stupidity fee.” He looked at Hisoka with annoyance in his eyes. “Also-” he took a moment before continuing “You’re only getting 3 piercings done today. I don’t care about your arguments.” He was solid in his decision leaving no room for Hisoka to argue.

Hisoka frowned “Come on lumi lighten up” he whined, looking at Illumi expectantly.

Illumi glared at him “I made my mind up. You can take it or leave it. Also, you’re paying half plus your stupidity fee up front. If you bleed out that’s not my problem.”

Hisoka’s grin returned, “It’ll be worth it to bleed out in your arms my love.” He winked at Illumi who’s eyes twitched in annoyance. His mind drifted to fantasies of Illumi dripping in Hisoka’s own blood maybe with his cum mixed in. The thoughts caused him to sigh in morbid delight. His desire went straight to his hardening dick.

“Get your boner under control now or I’m kicking you out” Illumi demanded. Despite his warning he stood up from his seat and moved to look for his supplies. He rummaged through his supplies to find what he needed for these specific piercings. He pulled out a pair of sterile gloves, a few needles and a set of jewelries for the piercings. He set his materials out in front of him before gesturing at Hisoka to sit down. “Lay down. Let’s get this over with.” He stared at Hisoka with an unreadable expression. There were thoughts buzzing under the surface that he wouldn’t let break free, at least not yet.

Hisoka leaned back on the seat and winked at Illumi from his position under his gaze. He unzipped his pants and pulled his underwear down just enough to give Illumi full access to his crotch.

Illumi laid his supplies out on the table and got to work spacing out the areas for the piercings. He pointedly ignored Hisoka’s chatter while he worked. The needle went in, 1, 2, he replaced the needle with the jewelry. He repeated the process 2 more times. He looked at Hisoka, “Do you want to see it before I put the gauze on?” he asked, making a vague gesture to the finished piercings. He tried to ignore Hisoka’s large bleeding cock in front of him.

Hisoka grinned, “Nah I’ll just let you patch me up.” He winked. His eyes gleamed as if he knew exactly where Illumi’s mind was at the moment.

Illumi pointedly ignored Hisoka’s incessant teasing and flirting. He wrapped gauze over the fresh piercings careful to keep it clean. “Now keep these clean. Daily showers, salt water rinsing, the whole deal. Come check in 3 or 4 months from now and we’ll see if you need more healing time.” He ran through the basic advice and gave Hisoka a few booklets, “Call the shop if you have any further questions”

“Can’t I have your number? What if I have urgent needs?” Hisoka asked, licking his lip as he looked over Illumi. He flashed his tongue piercing as his mind drifted. The tantalising image of Illumi covered in blood above Hisoka distracted him. His thoughts zoned out from the directions being given.

“If you have urgent needs you can call a hospital. I’m not here to take care of your dumbass.” Illumi replied blankly. “Oh, another thing for healing. It’s recommended to abstain from sexual activity for the duration of your recovery.” Illumi smirked at Hisoka’s aghast expression. “Have fun with your blue balls Hisoka” He pointed to the exit of the shop and shooed Hisoka away.

Hisoka looked aghast at the comment. He took it as an insult to his pride. “How mean ‘Lumi..” he trailed off and pouted. He pulled his pants and underwear up, fastening them. As he walked towards the exit he passed by Illumi, he took the opportunity to slip a piece of paper into his back pocket. He waved goodbye as he exited the store. He hoped to himself that Illumi would take the hand he reached out and text him. 


	2. Chapter 2

A week passed with no text from Illumi. Hisoka decided to go to the shop again. He walked in and made his way to Illumi’s workspace. He leaned in the doorway until he got Illumi’s attention.

Illumi paused the tattoo he was working on for a customer and side eyed Hisoka. “What do you want Hisoka? I’m working”

Hisoka smiled “Awww ‘Lumi didn’t you miss me?” He asked in his distinct sing-song tone.

“No. I didn’t.” Illumi deadpanned and went back to working on his current client’s tattoo.

Hisoka gasped and brought a hand to his chest. “Lumi how dare you, that hurts” He said smiling fondly the whole way through. He walked into the room without waiting for permission and sat back in one of the extra chairs on the side of the room. “I only wanted to visit you my love. You never texted me” he pouted.

“I didn’t say you could come in,” Illumi said, still focused on the job at hand. He was tattooing an elaborate design resembling a cross on this woman’s shoulder and he needed to focus.

“I didn’t ask,” Hisoka replied. He watched Illumi’s delicate work. He was always so light handed with his work on others, it was beautiful.

Illumi continued on with the current piece until he finished. He ran the customer through recovery information and waved her goodbye.

Turning around he glared at Hisoka. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to see my dear Lumi. Is that so wrong?” Hisoka grinned. His eyes showed so many things at once and it was hard to place his true feelings in the moment.

Illumi tensed, curiously examining Hisoka’s eyes to gauge his thoughts. “You’re not getting my number. And I obviously won’t just text some random number I find in my back pocket after work.” Illumi deadpanned.

Hisoka pouted, “You’re no fun” He stuck his tongue out at Illumi. He stood up and leaned over Illumi’s shoulders. “Maybe lunch can change your mind?” he winked, his hands grazing over Illumi’s arms.

Illumi looked at Hisoka for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Alright. Let's go” he grabbed his keys and wallet and headed towards the exit. He flipped the sign from open to closed. “Come on” he nodded Hisoka towards the exit and waited for him to leave.

Hisoka’s eyes shot open, he thought it’d be much harder to get Illumi to go out with him. He noticed Illumi waiting by the door and hurried over to him. He grinned, “Where do you want to go?”.

The question hung in the air for a few seconds before Illumi pulled up an address. “Here” he said and shoved the directions at Hisoka. He held his phone out in front of Hisoka with the directions pulled up, waiting for Hisoka to grab it.

Hisoka grabbed the phone and looked at the address for a moment. Soon after he walked over and invited Illumi into his car. He opened the passenger's seat door for him and made his way to the driver's seat. He sat down and waited for Illumi to make himself comfortable next to him.

Illumi pulled on his seatbelt in the passenger's seat and nodded. Hisoka took off speeding toward their destination. He turned the radio on low and hummed as they sped through the streets.

“This is a nice area.” Hisoka commented as he turned a corner into a parking lot. Pulling into a parking spot on the side of the building he shut off the car. “What is this place anyway?”

Illumi hummed and unbuckled his seatbelt, “It’s a French cafe” he opened his car door and stepped out. “Are you coming?” He asked.

“Just a moment my love” Hisoka winked and got out of the car following Illumi into the building.

Illumi rolled his eyes in response to Hisoka’s blatant flirting and smiled slightly. He waited patiently with Hisoka for the doorman to seat them, a small smile of content on his lips.

“Welcome Sirs, seating for two today?” the doorman asks the duo.

“Yes, could we get a table near a window please?” Illumi replied before Hisoka could say anything.

“Can do sir” the doorman replied and led them to a table for two next to a side window. He nodded at the duo and set napkins and menus on the table. He nodded at a waiter to come over to the table.

The waiter walked over, quickly switching with the doorman. “What can I start you gentlemen with today?” He opened his notebook and looked at the seated pair.

They ordered their food and drink swiftly and the waiter walked off.

“So Illumi-” Hisoka started, his eyes narrowed at the man across from him. “I’m sure you’d love to test out my piercings with me once they’re healed” He grinned with a wink toward Illumi.

Illumi stared blankly at Hisoka before rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his wine. “Hisoka I’ve pierced bigger and much more appealing dicks than yours at least once a month since I got this job.” he looked Hisoka in the eyes “I don’t care about you or your dick Hisoka.”

Hisoka’s grin didn’t falter, “You say that but you’re still here on a date with me”. His eyes gleamed in amusement as Illumi seemed to process his words.

Illumi hummed in contemplation. “We’ll see” he said and went back to focusing on his wine.

Hisoka spent the time until the food arrived trying to drag Illumi into conversation. He tried with small talk and dirty jokes, determined to get him to talk by whatever means necessary.

“Oh come on ‘Lumi!” Hisoka complained. “Texting isn’t hard” he pouted.

Illumi narrowed his eyes at Hisoka. “I don’t see the point in it. It’s much more efficient to talk in person.”

Hisoka smiled, “So you want me to visit you in person? My my Illumi”.

Illumi countered without hesitation, “No. I do not.”

Hisoka rolled his eyes at Illumi. “Mimi, baby, my love, ‘Lumi” Hisoka bugged Illumi to get his whole attention. “You should come back to my place tonight.” He grabbed Illumi’s hand with uncharacteristic gentleness.

Illumi either didn’t notice the waiter coming up to them or didn’t care. “I told you Hisoka. You can’t partake in sexual activity until your piercings are healed.”

The waiter had a look of discomfort and mild disgust on his face as he sat down their meals on the table. “Is that all sirs?” He asked, seeming ecstatic to get away from them again.

Illumi looked politely at him “Yes that is all for now. You may leave.”

The waiter let out a breath he was holding and nodded, walking away quicker than needed.

Hisoka looked Illumi in his dark eyes, licking his lip sensually. “I know that’s what you said but that just means don’t use my dick right?” His eyes gleamed.

Illumi’s eyes narrowed, “Yes I suppose you’re right.”

Hisoka’s eyes darkened, “So why don’t you fuck me ‘Lumi? Then we can both get what we want without messing up my healing”

Illumi’s expression didn’t change but the smallest twitch in his brows told Hisoka he was thinking about it.

Hisoka grinned, “So?” he questioned with a lilt to his voice.

Illumi sighed deeply before he spoke again. “Tonight?” He phrased it like a question but it carried as a confirmation.

Hisoka’s excitement grew. “Tonight.” he confirmed for Illumi before taking a bite from his meal.

The meal continued in a relatively friendly air compared to their regular interactions. Before they left Hisoka paid the bill in full, shocking even Illumi, his eyes growing wide for a moment.

“Should I take you back to the shop?” Hisoka asked as they got in his car again. 

Illumi seemed to check his pockets quickly, satisfied he replied. “Let’s just go to your place”

Hisoka smiled, “Alright”.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Illumi here’s some porn

Hisoka pulled Illumi into the elevator at Heaven’s Arena. He pushed the close door button as fast as he could to avoid the mob of fans trailing them. The door almost missed the first fan to come tumbling in, but caught them just in time. It left Hisoka and Illumi in an elevator of their own all the way up to the two hundredth floor.

Moments after the doors closed Illumi was on Hisoka. He bit and kissed and licked at the exposed skin on the man’s neck and collar.

Hisoka let out a surprised moan at Illumi’s sudden affections. He could feel Illumi’s lips curve into a slight smile at the sound. “Lumi-” he breathed out.

Illumi pulled away and took Hisoka’s face in his hands, leaning in to kiss him gently. They pushed and pulled softly before the elevator dinged. The sound told them they had arrived on the two hundredth floor.

Hisoka groaned in complaint at the noise. He grabbed Illumi's wrist and dragged him quickly past security. Immediately pushing him into the floor masters’ elevator. He pushed a few buttons and the glass elevator seemed to shake with how fast they were shooting upwards. It seemed like seconds later that they had hit their floor. They tumbled out into Hisoka’s flat with their clothes ruffled and faces flushed. They both had newly forming bruises all over. “Lumi-” Hisoka panted out as he grabbed at the man’s shoulders pulling him closer.

Illumi lets himself be tugged closer to Hisoka as they fall back onto his couch. Their chests flush against each other. “Hi-” he choked on his breath “-soka” he breathed out a whine. “Hisoka-”

They closed the distance between their mouths again. They fell into their own rhythm of push and pull. Hisoka took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Illumi’s mouth and explore what he could in the moment. Their breathing intermingled with teeth tongue and lips pressing together and colliding.

Hisoka rolled his hips upwards into Illumi and let out a moan at the friction. “Lumi-” he breathed his name out.

Illumi sucked in a breath at Hisoka’s tone saying his name. It was so maddeningly attractive he stopped in his tracks. His arousal shot straight into his hardening cock. He breathed out harshly and grabbed at the hem of Hisoka’s shirt. “Can I take it off?” He asked and waited for Hisoka’s response. He got a quick nod before he yanked the shirt off and leaned in. He started leaving more and more hickeys and marks on Hisoka’s neck and chest. He kept marking him until he was covered in a lovely pattern of bruises and bites.

Hisoka moved his hands to grab Illumi’s hips and dug his nails in as Illumi’s bites littered his torso.

Drops of blood pooled on his chest from a particularly harsh bite Illumi left. Illumi took a moment to admire the sight before he lapped up the dark liquid, humming in delight.

Hisoka moans desperately at the sight of his blood smeared on Illumi’s lips.

Illumi licks the blood off his lips sensually, making a show out of it for Hisoka. “Oh Hisoka, you taste so good” he praises Hisoka before grinding his hips into his harshly. “Too bad you’re such a dirty slut”

Hisoka lets out a breathless moan at Illumi’s words, tears stinging his eyes in desperation. “Illumi” he gasped as Illumi’s hand brushed over his clothed dick.

Illumi unzips Hisoka’s pants and pulls them off, leaving him in only his lacy white lingerie. His eyes widen for a moment as they settle on Hisoka’s large cock covered only by a layer of nearly sheer lace.

Hisoka grins at the sight, “See something you like Mimi?” the cocky gleam in his eyes trained on Illumi.

Illumi nods without thinking before moving to undo his own pants as well.

Hisoka tuts him away from the zipper and smirks at Illumi as he undoes the zipper himself. He looks directly at Illumi as he sinks down and takes him into his mouth. He hummed around Illumi’s dick creating vibrations as he licked and sucked on him. The piercings lining Illumi’s cock knocked against Hisoka’s tongue piercing. He hummed in pleasure as he trailed his tongue down the bottom of his shaft. 

As Illumi was tensing up and growing closer to his limit Hisoka pulled off. His tongue piercing knocking just slightly on Illumi’s barbells. Illumi groaned but Hisoka just looked at him. “I want you in me. Now.” he demanded. “The lube is in the tv cabinet”

Illumi rolled his eyes but got up from on top of Hisoka who lay on the couch and walked a few feet to the cabinet. He pulled a bottle of lube out from behind the tv as well as a few condoms from a box that lay next to it. He walks back over to Hisoka and spreads his legs across the back of the couch. He poured a bit of lube out of the bottle onto his hands to prepare Hisoka’s hole.

Hisoka whined out his name submissively, taking all Illumi could give him. “Illumi!” His eyes rolled back as Illumi’s long fingers carefully penetrated and stretched him. “Illumi!” He moans loudly as Illumi’s fingers press into him, brushing against his prostate. “Illu- please!” He cried out.

Illumi paused and pulled his fingers out. He grabbed the bottle of lube that was off to the side and squeezed some more out to coat his long studded dick.

Hisoka looked greedy at the sight of Illumi’s naked body in front of him. His pants and shirt tossed to the side in favor of connection to the other. He pressed his hips back into Illumi’s nude body. “Illu-please” he whined out.

Illumi gripped Hisoka’s hips to hold them in place as he pushed in. His nails digging harshly down into his skin bringing up pricks of crimson. He took a sharp breath in as he slid into Hisoka completely. His piercings pressing at Hisoka’s walls despite the preparations.

Hisoka moaned obscenely at the feeling of Illumi’s piercings pressing into him. Hisoka grabbed Illumi’s shoulders as he pushed in, scratching them down his back. “Lumi-” he breathed out as Illumi pushed in. They paused to calm their breathing before Illumi started thrusting in and out at a brutal pace. Their hips meeting in delicious slaps of skin as Illumi pressed into him. Hisoka scratched harsh lines into Illumi’s skin.

They met in a tangle of breaths and limbs as they pushed themselves to their edges. Hisoka’s cock was desperately hard and still untouched by either of them.

Illumi quickened his pace chasing his climax into Hisoka. He was spurred on by Hisoka's beauty under him. His arousal was clearly evident. He thrust into Hisoka’s prostate over and over, determined to have him cum untouched. “Hisoka, cum for me. Be a good slut.” He mumbled the words out only loud enough for Hisoka himself to hear but it was enough.

Hisoka cried out as his orgasm burst through him, his senses overwhelmed. He moaned obscenely as Illumi kept thrusting into him before releasing.

They pressed close together. Their sweaty bodies tangled as they caught their breath and came down from their high.

“Hisoka”

“Illumi”

They said each other's names in sync and looked into the other’s eyes. Hisoka laughed.

“It looks like we need a shower” he laughed fondly looking at the mess the two of them made.

“A few more minutes” Illumi complained as he leaned over on Hisoka’s body.

“Alright my love” Hisoka kissed his forehead and got up slowly. He picked Illumi up, carrying him to the master bathroom to run them a warm bath. He tossed the used condom out on the way in.

Illumi groaned in mild complaint but let Hisoka carry him to the bathroom. He watched diligently as Hisoka set up the large bathtub for them to share. Honey scented soaps lining the shelves, expensive scrubs in bold colors on the sink. Hisoka’s nude form lounging around in front of him waiting for the water to warm up.

As the water filled the tub Hisoka lifted Illumi and settled him into the tub, soon after joining him. He grabbed a bottle of honey scented shampoo and started lathering it into Illumi’s long hair. “You’re so beautiful ‘Lumi” He complimented as he washed the spent man before him.

“You too Hisoka-” Illumi mumbled before clamping his mouth shut in realization.

Hisoka smiled, “I knew it” he stated, letting the exact thing he was sure he was right about stay unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I’m opening fic commissions! Message me on Twitter @holtehyde for requests!


	4. Spin-off !

I’m making a series for this au so check out my spin off I posted a bit ago

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745184>

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter @nobunagasbf to join me in hisoillu brainrot


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